Brutally honest, yet humbly humble.

Today is International Women's Day. Hug a woman you love today.

It's no secret, I'm not a feminist, I never have been. My guy friends think of me as 'one of the guys...with tits'. My gal pals seem to like the fact that I'm not overly girly, however, that's all speculation. But they pretty much know not to ask me to join them for a night in, watching Magic Mike.

By saying I'm not a feminist doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the good fight that my fore mothers' fought for me. I can vote and voice my opinion without fear of repercussion. I've honed the ability to articulate my voice, even when I feel that my writing style is less than par, I can carry on a good conversation. I love the women in my life, they are strong, brilliant, funny, amazing people and anyone should be honored to know them. I have no problem with anyone being a feminist unless of course they put others down in the name of feminism. That's so anticlimactic and too similar to those that spread hate in the name of God. Stop that! It makes you out to be a complete douchebag and we're all tired of hearing that crap all the time.

I've been asked before the following:

What makes you feel like a woman? 

Other than physical attributes and female nature, I have no freaking idea. I've chalked up the reasoning behind this to be that I consider myself to be a humanist, I am capable, or I am not capable, and I will be the first to tell you when I am incapable of something. I may have said this before, and if so, I apologize for the broken record. I view myself as a person, neither male nor female. I laugh when things are funny, I bleed when my flesh is cut, I go about my life not trying to blend in with the crowd (you can tell this by the color of my hair), and yet I do my best to stay out of the way. I have a pair of boots that make me feel taller and slimmer which I guess makes me feel more feminine, but overall, I don't know how to answer this question.

When people tell you you're beautiful, do you believe them?

I believe they believe that, and I am flattered. But me? No. Getouttahere. Please don't read this and think I'm vying for attention. I appreciate compliments like anyone, but I'm certainly not fishing for an ego boost.

Every single one of us has self image issues. I'm no different. I don't post photos of myself that are from the neck down. If there are any of me it's because someone else posted them. My tits are too big, hips too wide, stomach too round and my thighs are the size of tree trunks. What I lack in physical appearance confidence, I make up for with humor and wit, and for the most part, I don't want to talk about my physique.

On that note, whoever made Spanx, and whoever claimed they do a good job of tucking and holding everything in place: You are a liar. They are uncomfortable, it takes so much longer to pee, and they do a fantastic job of rounding me out more making me look pregnant. Fuck you and your Spanx.


I am one of those people who fully believe in the "Shit or get off the pot" mantra. I don't complain for the sake of complaining. I prefer a solution, especially when I can control the outcome. I don't expect my path to be an easy one and I don't want handouts to get me to where I need to be (Although, I do admit I day dream when I'm waiting for a bus and it's raining that someone would take enough pity on me to take me to my destination...that would never happen and I'm too leery of people to trust a stranger to actually take me to my destination. With my luck, I'd end up somewhere in the back area of public park with my throat slit.). I have the ability, plenty of resources and time to achieve a healthier me...I couldn't even make it through that sentence without laughing. Yeah I have all of those things, but come on! I asked the pet adoption agency for a lazy dog to match my lifestyle. I can't even begin to tell you that I'm making it up. It's so much the truth, it's God.

Of course when I was a young pup, 19 or so, I was thin. Grossly thin. Looking at photos, I think I looked like I was starving, while I was told how great I looked. I remember that girl had self image issues then, just as she does now. Yeah, age happens but so did my love for carbs and heavy beers. Now, I'd rather cut off my arm than give up good beer. I don't apologize for that. Maybe I should get a bird and put it right next to the fridge? I would never go in the kitchen ever again. Who am I kidding? If I had a bird in my house, I would no longer live there.

Our culture is getting to a point of advocating against bullying/fat shaming and pro-self image and all of the positive things. There are articles, non-profits, memes, videos and blah, blah, blah that are inspiring, and powerful and make you feel like the human race has a chance and we shouldn't give up because not everyone is a thin, bullying, beautiful only on the outside, kind of person. Rather, there is a common thought that we have more in common than we could have imagined...or is that until you get away from your computer?

Do you see the odd/awkward person in public who isn't wearing the right clothes, who's a few pounds over weight and having what would be considered unhealthy lunch, and secretly thinking to yourself, "Oh, that's a shame. S/he should really make better life decisions."? Are you sometimes not so quiet with your reaction? I do it too. Sometimes I smile or laugh, sometimes I feel empathy, sometimes I'm so incredibly judgey even though I have absolutely no right to be. "I'm only human" is a cop out excuse for it, yet, it is our nature to make comparisons. Fat people already know that you're staring and making whatever judgement about the clothes, the food, the overall appearance. We would kindly like to remind you, that you can go fuck yourself. Thankyouverymuch.