Boyfriend's sister's phone auto corrects "Super Bowl" to superb owl and since this glorious auto correct, we have been calling the Super Bowl, Superb Owl. Now if you were to say this to someone and not slow it down a touch or enunciate a definite end of one word to the next, it can sound like "Super Bowel" and people will look at you funny.
True story.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
The Downfall of Social Media
I deactivated my Facebook account today. It felt like an uphill battle with my "friends" to be civil and nice vs. cheap shots being thrown for a quick laugh at someone's expense. I pick my battles, this was one I was obviously going to lose from the get go, so I decided it was time to live life like I did before being totally submerged in the negative void that is social media (Blogger is obviously excluded from this statement.).
Some folks that I have talked to understand my point of view and support it, some think it is their fault and are sorry to see me go, and some probably think I'm overreacting and being silly. But I'm not going to stick around to read everyone's opinion on the matter.
You know what's silly? That I'm writing this. That I'm writing about this and probably no one other than me will read it because it became apparent to me a couple weeks ago that getting people to do anything without something being in it for them is next to impossible. Except they have no problem putting me down for suggesting commenting on my blog. Lucky for me, they spared the unwanted comments here, but they felt no remorse blasting my request on a forum where my Mom could read their comments. They are unabashed to call out circumstances which make one feel shame and embarrassment so someone else can get a laugh out of it, like when I posted a photo of my boyfriend in the airport on our way to Las Vegas. The barrage of comments about us getting married went from 'funny' to being over the top and imposing which quickly turned to anger and resentment on my end, especially because some of those people making the comments know the pain I've gone through and thought it would be a good time to reopen those wounds. Regardless of that being their intent or not, poking at the girl with a history of PTSD and severe depression always works in everyone's favor, doesn't it?
These are people I know personally. People that claim to be my friends. People that haven't said anything to me in person, I have a feeling they wouldn't because as soon as they did they would see that there is no screen to hide behind, for either of us. They would instantly see how their words effect me and maybe that would bring a sense of humility back to them. And yet, I am the sensitive one, I fully acknowledge that. There are times I wish my skin was as thick as it used to be, but it simply is not.
I don't want to seem like I'm feeling sorry for myself. No. That's the ultimate overreaction. I made a decision and I'm following through with it. I've decided to start doing more positive things with my time.
A friend and I have decided to become craft pals (as opposed to pen pals). It'll be a great way to see how each of us grows in our skills, technique, and abilities as master crafters and we are both really excited about that.
I have been reading more and I'll be getting a Kindle tomorrow evening to up the amount of books I go through this year. This, after all was my New Year's Resolution and if I'm not so focused on the stupidity of Facebook, I think I can better enjoy the books I've chosen as well as get through more of them. My "To Read" list is pretty extensive at the moment, and for how much time I spend commuting by bus, it's pretty much perfect timing.
Lastly, I'm working on figuring out how to manage my time better when I get home from work and on the weekends I don't make plans. I need more nights at home, more workouts, more homemade meals, less nights out spending money (which can be really hard living so close to the best brew pub ever), focus more on the things I want and need for myself and enjoying the company of the people that refuse to put others down but instead have decided to help build them up. I need more of these things in my life. More positive in, more negative out and away from me and the people I love.
If you're not going to be civil, respectful and nice, please keep walking. I don't want you in my corner anymore.
Some folks that I have talked to understand my point of view and support it, some think it is their fault and are sorry to see me go, and some probably think I'm overreacting and being silly. But I'm not going to stick around to read everyone's opinion on the matter.
You know what's silly? That I'm writing this. That I'm writing about this and probably no one other than me will read it because it became apparent to me a couple weeks ago that getting people to do anything without something being in it for them is next to impossible. Except they have no problem putting me down for suggesting commenting on my blog. Lucky for me, they spared the unwanted comments here, but they felt no remorse blasting my request on a forum where my Mom could read their comments. They are unabashed to call out circumstances which make one feel shame and embarrassment so someone else can get a laugh out of it, like when I posted a photo of my boyfriend in the airport on our way to Las Vegas. The barrage of comments about us getting married went from 'funny' to being over the top and imposing which quickly turned to anger and resentment on my end, especially because some of those people making the comments know the pain I've gone through and thought it would be a good time to reopen those wounds. Regardless of that being their intent or not, poking at the girl with a history of PTSD and severe depression always works in everyone's favor, doesn't it?
These are people I know personally. People that claim to be my friends. People that haven't said anything to me in person, I have a feeling they wouldn't because as soon as they did they would see that there is no screen to hide behind, for either of us. They would instantly see how their words effect me and maybe that would bring a sense of humility back to them. And yet, I am the sensitive one, I fully acknowledge that. There are times I wish my skin was as thick as it used to be, but it simply is not.
I don't want to seem like I'm feeling sorry for myself. No. That's the ultimate overreaction. I made a decision and I'm following through with it. I've decided to start doing more positive things with my time.
A friend and I have decided to become craft pals (as opposed to pen pals). It'll be a great way to see how each of us grows in our skills, technique, and abilities as master crafters and we are both really excited about that.
I have been reading more and I'll be getting a Kindle tomorrow evening to up the amount of books I go through this year. This, after all was my New Year's Resolution and if I'm not so focused on the stupidity of Facebook, I think I can better enjoy the books I've chosen as well as get through more of them. My "To Read" list is pretty extensive at the moment, and for how much time I spend commuting by bus, it's pretty much perfect timing.
Lastly, I'm working on figuring out how to manage my time better when I get home from work and on the weekends I don't make plans. I need more nights at home, more workouts, more homemade meals, less nights out spending money (which can be really hard living so close to the best brew pub ever), focus more on the things I want and need for myself and enjoying the company of the people that refuse to put others down but instead have decided to help build them up. I need more of these things in my life. More positive in, more negative out and away from me and the people I love.
If you're not going to be civil, respectful and nice, please keep walking. I don't want you in my corner anymore.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
The dog days of Chug
Last year, I decided I wanted a dog for my birthday. Still trying to find my way out of a dark place, a rescue dog would also be my therapy dog. It was a perfect idea. I talked with an agency, Saving Great Pets (if you're ever in the market), and told them about my situation. Almost every pet adoption application is, I'm assuming, harder to adopt an animal than it is to get a citizenship to a different country. People like animals more than people. It's a fact. SGP is not as strict, they don't need to know your credit history, social security number, or if you have unemployed friends. I asked for a dog that fit my lifestyle, half the time lazy, half the time energetic...ok more lazy. Like an 80-20% here, because let's be honest... also no barking as I share walls with neighbors, and has to be potty trained. The one thing the agency did get right is the lazy. He likes to sleep. A lot.
When I adopted Chug (whose former name is Dasher. Laaaaame), he was a GD monster. He has anxiety so badly that he near destroyed my apartment. Shredding the carpet, along with any loose mail/papers left on the coffee table. He ate- not an exaggeration- ate through 2 baby gates that were intended to keep him in the kitchen away from the rest of the place. He even somehow got up into the windowsill and ate the blinds.This was all in the first week, when I had to say goodbye to my deposit! The 2nd week, he got tangled in his leash on a walk so I bent down to help him, he jumped up, knocking my phone out of my pocket and cracking the screen. I was tired and frustrated with this little dog who was burning a hole in my bank account rather rapidly had somehow already won my heart. The final straw would have been if he ate my boots I had been drooling over and finally bought at Nordstrom, that little shit would've gone back to the pound. Lucky for him he did not. He also barks. Aaaaand sometimes he pees inside.
A day or two later I bought a crate and posted a note to the front door explaining to my neighbors that he was not being tortured, we're crate training and he hates it. He still hates it, but it's better for both of us that he remain in the crate while I'm at work. Since the crate, it's been much better for all involved parties.
There was the mud incident too. If you could see my face as I reminisce...It had poured rain throughout one of the first weeks we were together. I had been working 10 hour days which isn't really fair to a new dog getting used to a new living situation, but that was the Amazon life (To make up for it, I spent 5 months with him nearly every day over the summer/fall). My fella had invited me over for dinner with him and his daughter. He asked me to bring Chug and to pick up some beer. I like beer and I like dinner. I was in, especially after another long day, not having to cook sounded simply amazing. I stopped by the mini mart and when I got out of the car, Chug bolted. He went into a muddy field that's normally just a strip of grass but since all of the rain it was mud. He ran under a shed and refused to come out. After several agonizing minutes in the pouring rain, the mud caked dog came out from under the shed. I had to pick him up and put him in the car. I was then covered in mud, and for the small amount of time I was in the mart, the interior of my car was getting covered in mud. We finally got to our dinner destination where I grabbed the dog and wouldn't let him wander around the house with how filthy we both were and b-lined it for the bathroom to clean up.
Did I mention the cat? Boyfriend and his daughter have a cat. Chug likes to chase cats and be incredibly awful to them, which he did. Which caused dinner to be a disaster, stress and crying included...shortly after arriving, Chug and I retreated back home (where I drank beer in the shower, cuz I'm classy!). See? Total monster.
I understand that I am not painting having an incredibly high maintenance dog in the best light, but he is a great companion and has definitely done his therapy job keeping my mind on other things when I really needed it which is one of the main reasons I decided to go the dog route. Plus I'm highly allergic to cats and Tough Stuff isn't the therapeutic/cuddly type of turtle needed for that occupation. He in fact, is rather ornery...and bitey, but always with a smile.
So it has been one full trip 'round the calendar. My little red dog who loves to sleep in, chase squirrels, pee on the rug, always has a funky smell even after a bath, antagonize kitties and crows-which I really wish he wouldn't do since crows are smart and don't forget and I am terrified of birds- he certainly makes life more interesting, and while I rescued him from a kill shelter in California, he in turn, rescued me from myself.
The point to this, dear reader, is one that I made earlier in this post: People like animals more than other people. To drive this already proven fact home: Chug received more birthday cards than I did. I have a one up on him though, I can read.
When I adopted Chug (whose former name is Dasher. Laaaaame), he was a GD monster. He has anxiety so badly that he near destroyed my apartment. Shredding the carpet, along with any loose mail/papers left on the coffee table. He ate- not an exaggeration- ate through 2 baby gates that were intended to keep him in the kitchen away from the rest of the place. He even somehow got up into the windowsill and ate the blinds.This was all in the first week, when I had to say goodbye to my deposit! The 2nd week, he got tangled in his leash on a walk so I bent down to help him, he jumped up, knocking my phone out of my pocket and cracking the screen. I was tired and frustrated with this little dog who was burning a hole in my bank account rather rapidly had somehow already won my heart. The final straw would have been if he ate my boots I had been drooling over and finally bought at Nordstrom, that little shit would've gone back to the pound. Lucky for him he did not. He also barks. Aaaaand sometimes he pees inside.
A day or two later I bought a crate and posted a note to the front door explaining to my neighbors that he was not being tortured, we're crate training and he hates it. He still hates it, but it's better for both of us that he remain in the crate while I'm at work. Since the crate, it's been much better for all involved parties.
There was the mud incident too. If you could see my face as I reminisce...It had poured rain throughout one of the first weeks we were together. I had been working 10 hour days which isn't really fair to a new dog getting used to a new living situation, but that was the Amazon life (To make up for it, I spent 5 months with him nearly every day over the summer/fall). My fella had invited me over for dinner with him and his daughter. He asked me to bring Chug and to pick up some beer. I like beer and I like dinner. I was in, especially after another long day, not having to cook sounded simply amazing. I stopped by the mini mart and when I got out of the car, Chug bolted. He went into a muddy field that's normally just a strip of grass but since all of the rain it was mud. He ran under a shed and refused to come out. After several agonizing minutes in the pouring rain, the mud caked dog came out from under the shed. I had to pick him up and put him in the car. I was then covered in mud, and for the small amount of time I was in the mart, the interior of my car was getting covered in mud. We finally got to our dinner destination where I grabbed the dog and wouldn't let him wander around the house with how filthy we both were and b-lined it for the bathroom to clean up.
Did I mention the cat? Boyfriend and his daughter have a cat. Chug likes to chase cats and be incredibly awful to them, which he did. Which caused dinner to be a disaster, stress and crying included...shortly after arriving, Chug and I retreated back home (where I drank beer in the shower, cuz I'm classy!). See? Total monster.
I understand that I am not painting having an incredibly high maintenance dog in the best light, but he is a great companion and has definitely done his therapy job keeping my mind on other things when I really needed it which is one of the main reasons I decided to go the dog route. Plus I'm highly allergic to cats and Tough Stuff isn't the therapeutic/cuddly type of turtle needed for that occupation. He in fact, is rather ornery...and bitey, but always with a smile.
So it has been one full trip 'round the calendar. My little red dog who loves to sleep in, chase squirrels, pee on the rug, always has a funky smell even after a bath, antagonize kitties and crows-which I really wish he wouldn't do since crows are smart and don't forget and I am terrified of birds- he certainly makes life more interesting, and while I rescued him from a kill shelter in California, he in turn, rescued me from myself.
The point to this, dear reader, is one that I made earlier in this post: People like animals more than other people. To drive this already proven fact home: Chug received more birthday cards than I did. I have a one up on him though, I can read.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Confucius Say:
Wherever you go, there you are.
I felt like I went crazy once. It really wasn't that long ago, and I'm pretty sure I wrote about it on this blog that I have...Anyway, I don't feel *as crazy* and I think it important to emphasize the AS part. Everyone is a little crazy in their own way. Actually, a very close friend once told me that I'm not crazy. Something horrible happened to me and I dealt with it the best way I knew how to but it proved to be too much. Some times that happens to folks and even though I don't have a physical scar from it doesn't mean I came away unscathed.
This is not the point or focus of my post. I actually get really bored of my own shit, since it's always the same thing that I often wonder if something else would happen just for a change of scenery. I feel like I'm repeating myself. I have to stop for an editor's review...ok, yeah, I've said something similar to this before but whatever, you're just going to have to deal with it or skip this paragraph for crying out loud. Too late, we're all moving on now.
2013 ended on a good note, I started a new job at the Allen Institute for Brain Sciences in the legal department working mostly on material transfer agreements (MTAs) and contracts. It's a decent gig, when there is work to do. So far, there has been a lot (like a ridiculous amount) of down time- like now, where I'm at work and writing my blog. This is what I need. I need to get paid to write this nonsense down. Also, just so it's clear, my boss knows I'm caught up and that I am currently getting paid to hold down a chair. Thankfully it's not metrics based bullshit work, amIright, Amazon?
It's 2014! This year has started out way better than that one year. I went to Las Vegas with my fella (my first time there) and we did well enough to only have to pay for meals the full day we had there. Although we didn't win big enough for a brand spanking new Aston Martin for me, or a Ducati for him (or whatever it is that he wants), or a trip around the world, I'd call it a successful visit. I had my 32nd birthday and to say that I made it to 32 when I didn't think I'd make it through 30 is pretty bad ass. Lastly, I am starting off this year credit card debt free. Suck on that, ex-husband! hahaha! Oh, no, I'm not vindictive or anything like that, it's just with all this new found responsibility, I still need to be somewhat immature and this is my outlet, so let me have it. Really, it feels like I've won the lottery, omit those pesky bills I still have to pay.
So there's that. Years fluctuate with ups and downs, good and bad. Here's to more ups and good and less downs and bad for you, yours and everyone else. Even those who don't really deserve it. Maybe if they have more good, they'll be better people in general. Here's hoping!
Happy New Year, ya jackals.
I felt like I went crazy once. It really wasn't that long ago, and I'm pretty sure I wrote about it on this blog that I have...Anyway, I don't feel *as crazy* and I think it important to emphasize the AS part. Everyone is a little crazy in their own way. Actually, a very close friend once told me that I'm not crazy. Something horrible happened to me and I dealt with it the best way I knew how to but it proved to be too much. Some times that happens to folks and even though I don't have a physical scar from it doesn't mean I came away unscathed.
This is not the point or focus of my post. I actually get really bored of my own shit, since it's always the same thing that I often wonder if something else would happen just for a change of scenery. I feel like I'm repeating myself. I have to stop for an editor's review...ok, yeah, I've said something similar to this before but whatever, you're just going to have to deal with it or skip this paragraph for crying out loud. Too late, we're all moving on now.
2013 ended on a good note, I started a new job at the Allen Institute for Brain Sciences in the legal department working mostly on material transfer agreements (MTAs) and contracts. It's a decent gig, when there is work to do. So far, there has been a lot (like a ridiculous amount) of down time- like now, where I'm at work and writing my blog. This is what I need. I need to get paid to write this nonsense down. Also, just so it's clear, my boss knows I'm caught up and that I am currently getting paid to hold down a chair. Thankfully it's not metrics based bullshit work, amIright, Amazon?
It's 2014! This year has started out way better than that one year. I went to Las Vegas with my fella (my first time there) and we did well enough to only have to pay for meals the full day we had there. Although we didn't win big enough for a brand spanking new Aston Martin for me, or a Ducati for him (or whatever it is that he wants), or a trip around the world, I'd call it a successful visit. I had my 32nd birthday and to say that I made it to 32 when I didn't think I'd make it through 30 is pretty bad ass. Lastly, I am starting off this year credit card debt free. Suck on that, ex-husband! hahaha! Oh, no, I'm not vindictive or anything like that, it's just with all this new found responsibility, I still need to be somewhat immature and this is my outlet, so let me have it. Really, it feels like I've won the lottery, omit those pesky bills I still have to pay.
So there's that. Years fluctuate with ups and downs, good and bad. Here's to more ups and good and less downs and bad for you, yours and everyone else. Even those who don't really deserve it. Maybe if they have more good, they'll be better people in general. Here's hoping!
Happy New Year, ya jackals.
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