The Downfall of Social Media

I deactivated my Facebook account today. It felt like an uphill battle with my "friends" to be civil and nice vs. cheap shots being thrown for a quick laugh at someone's expense. I pick my battles, this was one I was obviously going to lose from the get go, so I decided it was time to live life like I did before being totally submerged in the negative void that is social media (Blogger is obviously excluded from this statement.).

Some folks that I have talked to understand my point of view and support it, some think it is their fault and are sorry to see me go, and some probably think I'm overreacting and being silly. But I'm not going to stick around to read everyone's opinion on the matter.

You know what's silly? That I'm writing this. That I'm writing about this and probably no one other than me will read it because it became apparent to me a couple weeks ago that getting people to do anything without something being in it for them is next to impossible. Except they have no problem putting me down for suggesting commenting on my blog. Lucky for me, they spared the unwanted comments here, but they felt no remorse blasting my request on a forum where my Mom could read their comments. They are unabashed to call out circumstances which make one feel shame and embarrassment so someone else can get a laugh out of it, like when I posted a photo of my boyfriend in the airport on our way to Las Vegas. The barrage of comments about us getting married went from 'funny' to being over the top and imposing which quickly turned to anger and resentment on my end, especially because some of those people making the comments know the pain I've gone through and thought it would be a good time to reopen those wounds. Regardless of that being their intent or not, poking at the girl with a history of PTSD and severe depression always works in everyone's favor, doesn't it?

These are people I know personally. People that claim to be my friends. People that haven't said anything to me in person, I have a feeling they wouldn't because as soon as they did they would see that there is no screen to hide behind, for either of us. They would instantly see how their words effect me and maybe that would bring a sense of humility back to them. And yet, I am the sensitive one, I fully acknowledge that. There are times I wish my skin was as thick as it used to be, but it simply is not.

I don't want to seem like I'm feeling sorry for myself. No. That's the ultimate overreaction. I made a decision and I'm following through with it. I've decided to start doing more positive things with my time.

A friend and I have decided to become craft pals (as opposed to pen pals). It'll be a great way to see how each of us grows in our skills, technique, and abilities as master crafters and we are both really excited about that.

I have been reading more and I'll be getting a Kindle tomorrow evening to up the amount of books I go through this year. This, after all was my New Year's Resolution and if I'm not so focused on the stupidity of Facebook, I think I can better enjoy the books I've chosen as well as get through more of them. My "To Read" list is pretty extensive at the moment, and for how much time I spend commuting by bus, it's pretty much perfect timing.

Lastly, I'm working on figuring out how to manage my time better when I get home from work and on the weekends I don't make plans. I need more nights at home, more workouts, more homemade meals, less nights out spending money (which can be really hard living so close to the best brew pub ever), focus more on the things I want and need for myself and enjoying the company of the people that refuse to put others down but instead have decided to help build them up. I need more of these things in my life. More positive in, more negative out and away from me and the people I love.

If you're not going to be civil, respectful and nice, please keep walking. I don't want you in my corner anymore.