Zombies, Travels and Acceptance...kinda

A man in Florida ate another man's face. **Ate his face** I can honestly say, my troubles do not come remotely close to that. 

The weekend of June 8-10 I'll be heading to Portland for the Portland Fruit Beer Festival and to see some of my favorite people that walk this earth. I'm also looking forward to having a 3 day weekend before I have to get back into my wonky schedule of Tuesday-Saturdays.

September (dates TBD) I'm headed to New Orleans with my closest gals for a week chalked full of good food, music, people and for all of us to take a break from our daily grinds and whatever heartaches we're going through. Alright, so I'm the only one going through the heartache, but god love my girls for sticking with me.

After that, we'll see. I have a lot of time on my hands now, and oddly enough, more money. Of course I immensely enjoy more time and money, but I think if I could trade it in for what was, I would. However, what was will never be again. I am not the biggest dreamer. I don't live on hopes and wishes alone. I am a realist so for now, I get time and money. This isn't to say that I'm well off now by any means, but there are more opportunities for me to do/see/experience things I've always wanted to.

I still have the pain and anger to work through of all of this crap. I was dealt a shitty hand yet, instead of burying my head in the sand or refusing to deal with it at all, I am taking it on head first. Small signs of acceptance and indifference are starting to make their appearances which I appreciate. They aren't quite here, but they're well on their way. I have nothing more to say to him, I've said all I needed to. He's trying to place blame on me now for things and he knows is grasping at straws. He knows who I am, I talk. If I talk in a blog, well, it's up to the reader to read. He believes it will be awkward to see his friends because they know what's going on...but it would not be awkward since he cut everyone out of his life? Right. He also knows he has no one to blame but himself, it's just easier to allow pride to get in the way and point fingers at other people for your mistakes. He's still trying to take the easy way out, that's just not commendable.

It might have been different should he have shown remorse or had been willing to give her up. But he's not remorseful and she's still around...like mold. Can't get the bitch to leave well enough alone no matter how much bleach you pour on her. Whatever, the more home wreckers meet each other and start a relationship together, means good things for those of us that believe in monogamy. It seems there are so few of us left these days.

A thought crossed my mind today that rattled me, "I am getting a divorce. I, Samantha Newlands, who doesn't believe in divorce, is getting one." This whole situation just makes me sad. You think you know someone better than you know yourself, and they turn around and surprise the hell out of you.

I'm a busy woman with no time for games or bullshit. I know what I want out of life and if the people I meet throughout my journey are about the games, I'm not interested. I might not have everything figured out, but I am aware of the goals I've set for myself. I want to be surrounded by people who are like-minded but still know how to enjoy the punches life throws.